Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
