I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
