...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
