I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
