you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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