Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize