Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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