I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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