If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
