So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
