its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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