i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
