yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
