the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
