You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
