If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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