Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
