my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I queefed so loud it echoed.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
