There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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