So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
