watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
People with herpes should wear stickers.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
