I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
