I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize