He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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