I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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