Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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