I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
