i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Randomize