you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
