Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
