dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
