You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
