you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
