You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There r osticjed everywhere
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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