I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize
