You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize