Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
