As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
