My room smells like vodka and shame
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
