There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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