I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
