I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
