I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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