Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
