I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
this hospital has no fireball
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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