Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize