Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
