I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
