see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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