I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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