I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
