chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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