porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
