absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
