he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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