Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I want her autograph on my taint
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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