Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she looked like the before picture.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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