STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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