There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
