I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
