google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Actions speak louder than pants.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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