During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
